Risky business, suspended.

I have been doing some glazing and doing naughty things mixing frit with wine bottle glass and firing it to 1000, its giving me nightmares and reams all at once. The fear of the wrath of the other sharing artists keeps me up. but the dream of the glorious run and interlocking of materials is keeping the suspense so real!
 the melted disaster could produce Chaos embodied as the two materials unevenly interact and change the predicted melting point into something probably more around the 600 mark. Its becoming an entity of itself as the glaze reforms and cools as we speak. I wait for the results not today, but tomorrow!

Ceramics has a way of breaking the monotony of life by passing time in stages rather than minutes. I only feel I have had a week when I have had a firing. Sometimes these weeks roll for months, but why know the hour when it passes anyway?

I am a blind watchmaker.

For now I have to accept Schroedingers cat is dead and alive and try to not feel anyway successful nor a failure. But then again I usually enjoy the risky ones so much more than the predictable ones so I wait with positivity in my soul!

This photo is so old its practically irrelevant - only just.

Priorities

There is something marvellous about a deadline.

It makes me focus like nothing else. All of a sudden things that I could do, but don't have to, fall to the wayside and only the necessary is contained in the schedule.

And its interesting to look back on how priorities change over time. Last week it was very important that I rest my sprained ankle and I could think of nothing other than outside activities, and this week in full health I have seen the time-crunch and the admin details build up, build up - pleading to be filled out, filed and developed.

And to my shame it is often friend-oriented events which fall away as well. I have noticed recently that I do take for granted their golden gift of time.
That is changing as now Art and Friendship reign again as main priorities

...and 'having money' is religated to the back of the line.

I'm sure I am not the only one.

todays challenge

I'm faced with a challenge. I am almost out of clay.

I need to make something. My soul cries out to make as much as my upcoming deadlines. A nice catalyst for thought is further challenges of only this little bit of clay.
It rolled out beautifully  ;)

I will follow up with a result tomorrow!

is this worth it?

This piece is a pest. a result from over thinking and misunderstanding....

il set the scene - I am in a Show. Back to the Table. And I'm nervous about it. Intimidated actually, the invites have arrived and the photographed work is exquisite. And I am ultimately embarrassed that my crazy paintings arent about to help the "Back to the table" and skillful vibes of this fairly conservative exhibition.

Im doomed to fail, I think, because I had made a plan.... I shouldn't do that.
I made tableware and smooshed it into flat table surfaces - real kitchen tables, real cedar wood fragments - but the results were stale and unsatisfying.
I was hoping I could meet the skills of functionality in ceramics halfway with painting ideas. But it just looks lame. It doesn't get me excited. iy might make sense.but why would I want that when I could have a piece of solid fun!?

And so after a great conversation with a close friend who reminded me of what really matters - this piece is out. and so are the others fron past posts. the conservatives can have them.

What is in is me making something insane, and I am happy again!

I question functionality without having to make direct tableware motifs to communicate it. Its a part of the heritage of the material.
...my paintings are whats further possible.
It's lucky I learnt this soon enough to not compromise my integrity too badly. its essentially a secret, except for all of you.lovely readers.

lesson here! stay true to you - your not a joke until you lose sight of what you mean.  I thought I was included as a joke for the show... but better I have realized that I'm the Jester. I have to get used to being the opposition.

most destructive power

What's the most destructive power in the universe?

Free will.

I got the phrase above from thought provoking conversations with my dad, and the image from the glorious internet. the two collided for me...

Cast Days

Something changes when you have to sit inside for too long.

A Perception of what is good and bad.
My understanding of happy or sad.

I am utterly comfortable, with my sprained ankle.
I don't have any need to move - and yet I am so much more in misery than I am
 when I have problems to solve, places to be, people to pay and things to say!

(you can tell I have thought about this far too long, it has become a poem)

I'm bursting with opinions. with dreams. With wants.
As If I am forever condemmned to sitting still.
but I am.
It is forever
And I am still.
I hope for a more dramatic injury, or a far less painful one, anything to give me change to play with.

Simply reading or watching is not enough. I can't just absorb it, I want to challenge it, converse with it, react to it.
But I am still.

There is something about this collection of objects, shapes and patterns that still fascinates me.

Its so casual.

SO bright

its drawing through space and itself.

A line is recognized as an object,

shading is recognizably actual shadow.

No illusion, very naked

Why do I like the Exposed naked quality ? - not sure, will have to work on my fixation with honesty

Not illustrating an image of anything, yet it is something - objects. No illusion, not abstract, but irrelevant and absurd connections.

Absurd - Careless - random? not random, it was choreographed...

I'm not looking to make a direct meaning, just bring together fragments of life as I find them in my favour. I pick things. Collect things. Combine. They are flowing towards me and past me in time. I arrange and hold them for a moment for a photo and now it is made as one in a photograph.

Photographs can do that - make something look whole within the space, when in real life it may not appear resolved....

thoughts of the day  -  I wonder if that refining/ framing quality of photography is what makes me fond of this piece / nostalgia?

You miss the shadow potential when there is not objects. That is a loss of depth, I think the photo is a souvenir of the real, that is all it can be.

 

And so, for sanity's sake, I keep my studio in my mind.

I have sprained my ankle and have been left staring into my past few months, questioning if it has all been worth it.

There is a life I have coveted. I have seen 'It' ever since I walked into a mall. It's not the rich life, but the one where you are playing the useful part in the shiny happy people's lives by working in retail. I have recently embedded myself into this world.

I have learnt, "its a full-on Monet" (Tai: What's a monet?
Cher: It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess. 1996, Clueless)

Don't get me wrong, its not a life long dream. But it was an expectation of where I would be at my age. Fairly realistic, but aiming a little low on the Dream Machine Scale.

I'm there, I'm working. I turn up playing the part. Time passes and the doors close. Again I realize It was a performance and we all go home. It is completely what you make it. You can have a great attitude and have a good time or you can find the cynical route where you notice the barcode on your name. It's interesting because everything and nothing is valuable. Once the day is over, no-one could care less. You are free to ponder your personal life, and these two personalities dont have to interact at all.

"Relationship George cannot collide with Friendship George". (Seinfeld, yes I have a tv)

But now that I'm there, and I'm one of the happy, shiny people, I am coveting something else.... My artist life! The shoes I always wanted to end up in are desperately calling me.

The advantages of a regularized income in retail is that you can budget your expenditure to suit. An artist's income - for me- has so far proven to be a lucky feat to break even. If money did run my world, retail would remain a constant. But satisfaction, progression, innovation and investigation remain my real motivators. To satisfy my curiosity is to steady the stone of Sisyphus - you cannot!

And so when the temptation to quit my job an run free in the meadows washes over me, my personal rewards are still possible.

But lo, Harsh Reality comes flapping down to deliver the slap of practicality. An artist needs materials, in my particular case - I need to install my kiln. For my awkward house - I'm saving $1000 at least to install. And so I bounce back and perform as a shiny people again!

There is nothing wrong with retail, if you can be happy in sales, you can be happy in any customer service role. My only bite is that although I am happy during the day with my double shot cappuccino - I know in my heart that I can be happy with my double shot cappuccino just about anywhere, and happy in my studio without food, wi-fi or my double shot cappuccino.



And so, for sanity's sake, I keep my studio in my mind.

ahh art memories of Art School!

Yen Young Art Awards @gaffagallery

Hey im totally chuffed so it wasnt as bad as it could have been- I wasnt shockingly and awkwardly late. It didnt matter because every art goer is it seems. The party raged on until 9....pm+
Pretty crazy.

I got to see some great pieces in the great Gaffa, and meet some new faces... and I learnt a few lessons about my work -
I want it to be a bit bigger, its haed to get into the juicy details when its less than 30cm...  and not on the extremely intimate scale of things. 
Ropes are a feature of space and gravity that I cant ignore- they are necessary! it needs to be a naked hang, otherwise the whole thing is mysterious.  It doesn't communicate simplicity or melt or density or weight when its all hidden. And it doesn't occupy space the way it needs to in order to be an accessible, tangible,  attention worthy piece of chemistry.

My last lesson is avoid corners if you want to be noticed - as potentiallypeople with prams like to squat in front.  That happened for a long while it seemed,  making it too hard for people to see my piece at all....

Big portraits are potentially dominant compared to my little trumpet. ... but I'm a bit self obsessed so I'm not sure if its just me or if the juxtaposition makes my piece seem alien. Maybe big portraits aren't bad afterall... Once you get to know them ?

 I'm totally chuffed to be a part of it all- and pretty stoked to be chosen 1/20, from 300+ applications!  A great achievement straight from uni :):):) I feel the ball is rolling and it will all get better. 

I