Hell-o Multi Arts Crowdfunding HELP

Merry Christmas everyone!
This is a little project of mine which has ballooned to become a huge event and is set to be loads of fun - BUT IT NEEDS HELP
Tonnes of artists are involved, poets, dancers, and performance artists - but we cant make 'IT' happen alone!

What is this 'it' you ask? have a look into the link, it explains all!!
https://www.kickstarter.com/…/19201939…/hell-o-arts-festival

making art is as intimate and permanent as a tattoo, except you dont know whose skin your writing on

Unless the art is a gift, specific to; ☆♡☆

 Well so here I am, at the end of the road.

Where do I go from here.

I always figured it would be like this.

Still nothing seems to be quite clear

All the words have been spoken and the prophecy fulfilled,

but I just can’t decide where to go

Yes its been quite a day, and I should go to sleep,

But tomorrow I will wake up and ill know

That I got to begin again

Though I don’t know how to start

Yes I got to begin again

And it’s hard

Well it’s been quite a while since I lifted my head

 And I’m sure the light will hurt my eyes

 I see the way I have been spending my day

 and reality had caught me by surprise.

I was dreaming of tomorrow so I sacrificed today

And it sure was a grand waste of time

And despite all the truth that has been thrown in my face, I just can’t get you out of my mind

But I got to begin again

Thought I don’t know how to start

Yes I got to begin again

And its hard

Yes it hard

Ooooo

….

I feel like he knows me

Thank you Billy Joel

You can't make a mistake in clay

So I might have to rephrase that -
I cant make a mistake in clay.

I only say it that way because I don't think mistakes exist, rather its part of a becoming. 
if I had a particular ideal and was striving towards it... it'd be easy to find the mistakes (figurative sculptors,  my heart goes out to you). But I like the discovery of a journey and find a finished piece is finished when its full of personality.

It's a friendly way to approach the making process I suppose. ... humanises the maturing of a work, as if it was becoming itself,  rather than what I want.

This approach only really works because I have the distance between the piece, the kiln and me. A distance of time and space... could I call the kiln a nursery ?

Intense nursery!

But then - it would have to be - these materials have spewed from the core of our planet,  as old as the rock itself.

When I think about the monumental scale that is referenced in ceramics - I feel a responsibility to communicate the link we have to our environment.  Actions and reactions - we make it and everything is in a process of some kind. ... in flux

OK todays last one..

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-hkd_yJKuHnRndsS3l6ejZSR00/view?usp=sharing

Giffing around some more

Giffing around

giffing

my first gif

....
..
...

http://www.rachaelmccallum.com/about.html

I am in love - http://www.sodeoka.com/GIF-Net/GIF-Psychedelica 
I don't think psychedelic colour mixes refer to drugs anymore - I think its less personal and now expressive of external chaos ... but maybe thats my own dialogue

http://www.sodeoka.com/GIF-Net/GIF-Psychedelica

Just look at it!!!

below courtesy of http://artfcity.com/

Yoshi Sodeoka’s GIF Psychedelica

0

by Corinna Kirsch on October 3, 2014 · GIF of the Day

Yoshi Sodeoka made a torrential number of GIFs like this on Google+ back in the day. (That day was 2011, to be exact.) Each and every one of the psychedelica GIFs show a completely different range of graphic movement—raining, exploding, melting, draining, everything.

I have a theory

Ok so I have a theory that clay is always moving,  twisting and absorbing. In my head its like a really stiff sponge. I imagine that the glaze and glass can tighten the outside surface- sealing and cementing the sponge.
When its a slab of clay canvas and I only glaze one side - I am pretty sure that a crack is going to happen where the clay is thinned and the tension is sharp with a tight and crazed glaze. This kind of crack is one that happens after firing when the clay is absorbing the water of the air and the day.... not one necessarily about the temperature! 
And so to counteract this potential weakness , I have started playing with resin - one that will absorb into the clays and be the room temperature glaze that balances the tension. By doing this I have a good feeling the piece is stronger and more resistant to knocks.... and it is yet another layer of chemistry to explore !

Although the synthetic nature of plastic does not bode well with my health.... I feel like synthetic works made of plastics are in a way cheating from the true and honest chemistry of ceramics.... but I have many more experiments to do before I start glazing both sides of the painting!

(It is an idea to play with for sure!)

On a more serious note

Ha so back to business, or is it fun ?  When  It comes to art I can never tell.

Either way- it has sparked ideas of demonstrations of pouring glass crucibles into paintings - to actually paint wuh the liquid glaze - but these dreams are limited only by my facilities available to me.
I am hungering for a gas kiln and stoneware temperatures, as well as lots of space, raku tools and equipment , as well as practice time and finally an audience!
The plan is thrilling -
To make a few ceramic cups. Fill them to the brim with glaze and found glass. Have a clay canvas made and put it all into the firing (some normal glazes partially covering the canvas to act as an anchor )... the firing is to go to just below stoneware temps- to activate the glazes and make sure it all got sticky... then when it has cooled at about 600 - open up that bad boy and pick up the cups of glaze and pour them onto the clay canvas - all sitting in the kiln - and let it all goo around and flow in a wierd and crazy unusual way.... who knows - depending on the temperature intervals I could pour the glaze like sugar and spin it into something that branches out of the surface....

Perhaps into a window of glass itself...

Buhm buhm bahhmmm

Mud brick Dream...

http://www.johnnyrolfjanderooden.nl/firedmuho.htm

This weblink is all about a couple of architects and clayworkers in India who managed to experiment and complete a fired mud brick house. What a dream ! I love it, maybe one day I will be able to make one myself...

I dream of buying land in the Aussie Outback and designing a mad mud brick house. I would dig and dig and mix and mix the clays, the soil, the mystery quartz, all into the pieces of wall. I would do it gradually so that it would dry all the way through. I'll use only the materials on the land that I own. Kind of like early settlers houses, except then I want to glaze the walls and roof and everything and set it all on fire. Fire it for weeks, until I can see the glaze is shiny. It'd work better if I build the house like a HUGE Anagama kiln, up hill and with tunnels for heat to churn upward. With plenty of window holes for air. Who knows- maybe the experiment would leave a giant cocoon cave on the side of the hill - unusable and dangerous with glaze shards around, oozing out of the mass. Or maybe it'll be a real treasure trove hidden halfway in a hill, that only the few curious friends will know about.

Sure, I have dreamt about it plenty, but exact planning hasn't happened yet - because - lets be honest, I don't have enough money for a car or to move out of my parents house, let alone a chunk of aussie golden soil!

But one day, some day, I will, and it'll be a real landmark/museum/home/exhibition space/ safehouse/experiment/learning centre. Maybe I can try it enough times that it could become big enough to have people share it with me, like a residency program or a school!

SOmetimes everything is interesting, even the moments between moments

So yeah, its a picture of cloud, and - oh look - a lucky bird flew by and made it a bit more than a completely average image. But today it feels a testament to prove that things are never what you plan them to be, they are sometimes able to be better than you can strive for. Now that I have added that good feeling adage, I have changed how I look at the image entirely and perceive the trajectory is upward in a hopeful rise to the free flowing freedom birds have on - clearly- windy days.
So maybe if I want to feel good about a picture, next time I could write good happy things near it and then my feelings will blur the lines....

Or it wont and I'll continue to question everything.

I like both outcomes.

Researching - Then this happened

So I was researching what I had gotten myself into when I entered an exhibition in the Botanical Gardens, and here I found my own work -  essentially I'm the poster girl of the event!

check it;  http://www.artandabout.com.au/festival-program/cultivate-new-artisans/

What a feeling.

My visual language used to promote and entice - what a thought!

Using my work is better than my face anyway, too many zits.

There is magic in Mittagong

And no, its not just because I was there today. 

The whole town exudes a flair for the handmade and the historical.  Antique shops are everywhere you look, attracting tourists and locals alike. Its not like a time warp, but its like ilder fashioned things are prioritised over the new, flash and brash. The only mention of popular mainstream media was a magazine cover postered outside a newsagents about Katy Perry, but without looking I'm sure that was old news, definitely compared to my Facebook Miley-themed feed.

if you ever feel like a journey, there is the Wombeyan Caves as a day trip destination -however, bring a packed lunch!

Here are some quirky things from today

SOmetimes everything is interesting, even the moments between moments

Sometimes looking at the smaller picture is enough to begin imagining the bigger one.

I sometimes even choose to cover my eyes so that I cam only see bits at a time, giving me a chance to realign all the fragments into something I like, just to see what else is possible.

Here are some fragments of a piece about to be exhibited in BUNKERED in Branch Gallery, Forest Lodge, Sydney. Opens on Saturday, but bookings are required.
http://branch3d.com.au/

Time well spent

This is an interesting discussion about the artscene in Manhattan,  Usa

http://news.artnet.com/market/new-york-dealers-discuss-the-future-of-galleries-part-one-32859#.U_kO1EfL6Qc.facebook

better with or without?

It might seem silly,  but I honestly cant tell which is better.
Should I glue this exciting piece of pink glazed glass shard onto this ceramic or not.
If I dont glue it on the piece retains its integrity as a whole composition that has become of itself in the firing. If I add a bit afterwards does that compromise this idea? I think so, but it looks very interesting with it and a bit more balanced as a composition.
And it hasnt even been hung with rope yet so perhaps these decisions are premature.  My feeling is - stick it on - cause this shard will forever be framed in a more interesting place than if left on the shelf. 
Perhaps this is all an elaborate frame..
Perhaps my painting is to frame the chemistry.. Perhaps the structure and composition is a frame of the random elements of drool and melting point adjustments. 

Perhaps.  Maybe its just a weird ceramic thingo that some people can find substance in and some people can't.  Maybe its one of those pieces where its so vague your reaction is more of a
reflection of yourself than of me.

That could be said of people too, and every artist paints themselves so, by that logic:
hello, I am a frame to chaos.

Risky business, suspended.

I have been doing some glazing and doing naughty things mixing frit with wine bottle glass and firing it to 1000, its giving me nightmares and reams all at once. The fear of the wrath of the other sharing artists keeps me up. but the dream of the glorious run and interlocking of materials is keeping the suspense so real!
 the melted disaster could produce Chaos embodied as the two materials unevenly interact and change the predicted melting point into something probably more around the 600 mark. Its becoming an entity of itself as the glaze reforms and cools as we speak. I wait for the results not today, but tomorrow!

Ceramics has a way of breaking the monotony of life by passing time in stages rather than minutes. I only feel I have had a week when I have had a firing. Sometimes these weeks roll for months, but why know the hour when it passes anyway?

I am a blind watchmaker.

For now I have to accept Schroedingers cat is dead and alive and try to not feel anyway successful nor a failure. But then again I usually enjoy the risky ones so much more than the predictable ones so I wait with positivity in my soul!

This photo is so old its practically irrelevant - only just.

Priorities

There is something marvellous about a deadline.

It makes me focus like nothing else. All of a sudden things that I could do, but don't have to, fall to the wayside and only the necessary is contained in the schedule.

And its interesting to look back on how priorities change over time. Last week it was very important that I rest my sprained ankle and I could think of nothing other than outside activities, and this week in full health I have seen the time-crunch and the admin details build up, build up - pleading to be filled out, filed and developed.

And to my shame it is often friend-oriented events which fall away as well. I have noticed recently that I do take for granted their golden gift of time.
That is changing as now Art and Friendship reign again as main priorities

...and 'having money' is religated to the back of the line.

I'm sure I am not the only one.

todays challenge

I'm faced with a challenge. I am almost out of clay.

I need to make something. My soul cries out to make as much as my upcoming deadlines. A nice catalyst for thought is further challenges of only this little bit of clay.
It rolled out beautifully  ;)

I will follow up with a result tomorrow!

is this worth it?

This piece is a pest. a result from over thinking and misunderstanding....

il set the scene - I am in a Show. Back to the Table. And I'm nervous about it. Intimidated actually, the invites have arrived and the photographed work is exquisite. And I am ultimately embarrassed that my crazy paintings arent about to help the "Back to the table" and skillful vibes of this fairly conservative exhibition.

Im doomed to fail, I think, because I had made a plan.... I shouldn't do that.
I made tableware and smooshed it into flat table surfaces - real kitchen tables, real cedar wood fragments - but the results were stale and unsatisfying.
I was hoping I could meet the skills of functionality in ceramics halfway with painting ideas. But it just looks lame. It doesn't get me excited. iy might make sense.but why would I want that when I could have a piece of solid fun!?

And so after a great conversation with a close friend who reminded me of what really matters - this piece is out. and so are the others fron past posts. the conservatives can have them.

What is in is me making something insane, and I am happy again!

I question functionality without having to make direct tableware motifs to communicate it. Its a part of the heritage of the material.
...my paintings are whats further possible.
It's lucky I learnt this soon enough to not compromise my integrity too badly. its essentially a secret, except for all of you.lovely readers.

lesson here! stay true to you - your not a joke until you lose sight of what you mean.  I thought I was included as a joke for the show... but better I have realized that I'm the Jester. I have to get used to being the opposition.

most destructive power

What's the most destructive power in the universe?

Free will.

I got the phrase above from thought provoking conversations with my dad, and the image from the glorious internet. the two collided for me...

Cast Days

Something changes when you have to sit inside for too long.

A Perception of what is good and bad.
My understanding of happy or sad.

I am utterly comfortable, with my sprained ankle.
I don't have any need to move - and yet I am so much more in misery than I am
 when I have problems to solve, places to be, people to pay and things to say!

(you can tell I have thought about this far too long, it has become a poem)

I'm bursting with opinions. with dreams. With wants.
As If I am forever condemmned to sitting still.
but I am.
It is forever
And I am still.
I hope for a more dramatic injury, or a far less painful one, anything to give me change to play with.

Simply reading or watching is not enough. I can't just absorb it, I want to challenge it, converse with it, react to it.
But I am still.

There is something about this collection of objects, shapes and patterns that still fascinates me.

Its so casual.

SO bright

its drawing through space and itself.

A line is recognized as an object,

shading is recognizably actual shadow.

No illusion, very naked

Why do I like the Exposed naked quality ? - not sure, will have to work on my fixation with honesty

Not illustrating an image of anything, yet it is something - objects. No illusion, not abstract, but irrelevant and absurd connections.

Absurd - Careless - random? not random, it was choreographed...

I'm not looking to make a direct meaning, just bring together fragments of life as I find them in my favour. I pick things. Collect things. Combine. They are flowing towards me and past me in time. I arrange and hold them for a moment for a photo and now it is made as one in a photograph.

Photographs can do that - make something look whole within the space, when in real life it may not appear resolved....

thoughts of the day  -  I wonder if that refining/ framing quality of photography is what makes me fond of this piece / nostalgia?

You miss the shadow potential when there is not objects. That is a loss of depth, I think the photo is a souvenir of the real, that is all it can be.

 

And so, for sanity's sake, I keep my studio in my mind.

I have sprained my ankle and have been left staring into my past few months, questioning if it has all been worth it.

There is a life I have coveted. I have seen 'It' ever since I walked into a mall. It's not the rich life, but the one where you are playing the useful part in the shiny happy people's lives by working in retail. I have recently embedded myself into this world.

I have learnt, "its a full-on Monet" (Tai: What's a monet?
Cher: It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess. 1996, Clueless)

Don't get me wrong, its not a life long dream. But it was an expectation of where I would be at my age. Fairly realistic, but aiming a little low on the Dream Machine Scale.

I'm there, I'm working. I turn up playing the part. Time passes and the doors close. Again I realize It was a performance and we all go home. It is completely what you make it. You can have a great attitude and have a good time or you can find the cynical route where you notice the barcode on your name. It's interesting because everything and nothing is valuable. Once the day is over, no-one could care less. You are free to ponder your personal life, and these two personalities dont have to interact at all.

"Relationship George cannot collide with Friendship George". (Seinfeld, yes I have a tv)

But now that I'm there, and I'm one of the happy, shiny people, I am coveting something else.... My artist life! The shoes I always wanted to end up in are desperately calling me.

The advantages of a regularized income in retail is that you can budget your expenditure to suit. An artist's income - for me- has so far proven to be a lucky feat to break even. If money did run my world, retail would remain a constant. But satisfaction, progression, innovation and investigation remain my real motivators. To satisfy my curiosity is to steady the stone of Sisyphus - you cannot!

And so when the temptation to quit my job an run free in the meadows washes over me, my personal rewards are still possible.

But lo, Harsh Reality comes flapping down to deliver the slap of practicality. An artist needs materials, in my particular case - I need to install my kiln. For my awkward house - I'm saving $1000 at least to install. And so I bounce back and perform as a shiny people again!

There is nothing wrong with retail, if you can be happy in sales, you can be happy in any customer service role. My only bite is that although I am happy during the day with my double shot cappuccino - I know in my heart that I can be happy with my double shot cappuccino just about anywhere, and happy in my studio without food, wi-fi or my double shot cappuccino.



And so, for sanity's sake, I keep my studio in my mind.

ahh art memories of Art School!

Yen Young Art Awards @gaffagallery

Hey im totally chuffed so it wasnt as bad as it could have been- I wasnt shockingly and awkwardly late. It didnt matter because every art goer is it seems. The party raged on until 9....pm+
Pretty crazy.

I got to see some great pieces in the great Gaffa, and meet some new faces... and I learnt a few lessons about my work -
I want it to be a bit bigger, its haed to get into the juicy details when its less than 30cm...  and not on the extremely intimate scale of things. 
Ropes are a feature of space and gravity that I cant ignore- they are necessary! it needs to be a naked hang, otherwise the whole thing is mysterious.  It doesn't communicate simplicity or melt or density or weight when its all hidden. And it doesn't occupy space the way it needs to in order to be an accessible, tangible,  attention worthy piece of chemistry.

My last lesson is avoid corners if you want to be noticed - as potentiallypeople with prams like to squat in front.  That happened for a long while it seemed,  making it too hard for people to see my piece at all....

Big portraits are potentially dominant compared to my little trumpet. ... but I'm a bit self obsessed so I'm not sure if its just me or if the juxtaposition makes my piece seem alien. Maybe big portraits aren't bad afterall... Once you get to know them ?

 I'm totally chuffed to be a part of it all- and pretty stoked to be chosen 1/20, from 300+ applications!  A great achievement straight from uni :):):) I feel the ball is rolling and it will all get better. 

I

ok so I'm late

I'm late to everything,  but this is ridiculous. 
Tonight is the Yen Young Art Awards gallery opening at Gaffa Gallery #Gaffagallery #yenyoungartawards.
It starts at 6 and I'm not even halfway there at 7.... drama!
I am always late, its not the best thing to be known for. I was an hour late to my own 21st. ... fashionably late!?

We'll see,  ill arrive as the shingdig closes up but thats cool. It's better than being there and bored!

Yen Young Art awards - Finally!

I come home and find a Package of Congratulations - a finalist in Yen Young Art Awards - such an awesome feeling! !

opening party is this Thursday @GaffaGallery, 6pm
ill be there with my party on!! come join and celebrate with me :)

Frying-Pan Planets? Dirty-Dish Art Photography | Urbanist

Frying-Pan Planets? Dirty-Dish Art Photography | Urbanist


I love how startingly simple this idea is, connecting the macro with the microcosm, whilst keeping relevant to an everyday/night theme. Anyone who has had the chance to stare at a clear moon or done the dishes can can relate to this work. The very small is indistinguishable to the very big...

Reminds me of Gerhardt Richter's Atlas images of the oven tray fat and oil globules... I am so fascinated by the way materials of different densities repel one another!

resin reinforcements

this big boy needed to be reinforced,  I thought I heard a creak, and so action needs to be taken !

This is the back of Chemistry Scribble#1
2013, getting a facelift. Its casting resin - to soak into the bare and porous earthenware surface,  joining every little mysterious hairline crack together.

It has been a long time since I used resin, but I luckily had great success with this project. Youd think the ratio "100:50" were simple enough....  And they were,  but I was just nervous about it all and have been putting it off.

There is a mosquito in the resin somewhere as well, it was stunned and fell into the mix...

I dont think the resin takes anything away from the idea of the piece- it is against the wall and out of sight, so if I wasn't showing you now, how could you know?

It's nice to see this soft side of the clay :)

Good Evening

During the sunset

When the sky is its most anguished.

I found some shards of broken glass and, with my camera, zoomed in on the reflected colours and silhouettes of the bush around me.

The images themselves are intriguing...

Yen Magazine Love Story (Short Version)

http://www.yenmag.net/artaward/entry.php?n=138

I love Yen. 
Ever since my -now ex-boyfriend started reading it, I have had a lot of respect for their enduring unique attitude to culture. 

He might be gay or dead or somethin' else now, but the mag is still there for me.
Now they are loving me back by placing me as a finalist in their comp - So if you can make it into Sydney, Gaffa Gallery on the 12th June -  we can party :)

Well Done Matey

There are exciting things bubbling away, I know because every now and then I can hear it.

I heard word today that a great friend of mine, GREAT in the awesome sense, and great in fondness, has been deemed a finalist in the iconic 'Sculpture By The Sea', an Arts and cultural event in Sydney next summer. A Competition at best, a high traffic exhibition space at worst, this fantastic opportunity is not just exciting, it is justice.
This friend of mine works harder than anyone I have known, and to hear that it is beginning to be recognized is thrilling. Hard work can go unnoticed in the art world. Year of skill can be disregarded if without concept, and years of thought development shrinks in the face of an unweilded media. Its an interesting threshold, because the opposite is true as well, depending upon the era and location.

It is not impossible to remants of a time when skill was art, and art was skill. Perhaps it is portrait Artists who continue the trade?
Oh what do i know, this is only the beginning of a thought, Im sure there is someone who has spent hours considering the 'balance of thought/skill' in what constitutes art.

All I know for sure is I am proud of this one, I will keep his name a secret yet, because he himself deserves to share the good news first... I can wait, from writing it at least.